Forty years ago, I had no idea what marriage would really be like. Couple that with the fact that when I took the plunge, I was not walking in step with the commands of the Creator. In fact, I was in full-scale rebellion to the two Great Commandments and the Ten Commandments, and I was making decisions based on thoroughly humanistic standards.
A funny thing happened on this marriage journey. After almost seven years of floundering together to try to make our relationship work, we collided head-on with the living God. To say we were not seeking Him is an understatement. Yet, find us He did. Our lives as individuals and our commitment as a couple were transformed.
Looking back, I realize that I had no idea what marriage would be like as a Christian couple. We were maneuvering through some very difficult situations when our walk with Christ began, and the future was uncertain. Uncertain, that is, for everyone but God. Now I realize how safe we were in His hands and how secure we will be if we live by faith.
Faith is not a feeling. Faith is not the result of my efforts or my work. Faith is resting on the finished work of Jesus Christ and living according to His commands. So, while my tenure as wife has not always been easy, pleasant, or consistently obedient, standing on the Rock of my salvation has made all the difference. Even if, at times, I was hanging on for dear life!
When I hear of women I know becoming engaged or getting married, I marvel at their optimism and jubilant expectation. Yet, I know that they, like me, have no guarantees as to what the future holds. My recommendation to them is very similar to that which I offer to women already committed to a marriage—learn and apply Biblical law. It is the only means to know where the Rock is (along with the Holy Spirit’s guidance), let alone, how to stand on it. Because the role of wife usually expands quite soon with acquiring the role of mother, it is vital a woman have the weapons necessary for the warfare she will have to engage in.
The book of Ecclesiastes sums it up quite well why it is good for people to come together in marriage.
There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Eccl. 4:8–12)
Marriage is a gift from God and must be received on His terms and according to His law-word. No matter how noisy and powerful the counterfeiters come across, God’s Word stands. The answer is not to win our point in the public square in terms of public opinion. The answer is to celebrate Christian marriage and recognize it for how God designed it – to further His Kingdom. Thus, we all should aspire to have Kingdom-driven marriages.