The Kingdom-Driven Family

Helping Your Children Fail

Andrea Schwartz

November 13, 2014

We live in an age of superstars. Whether it is sports, academics, entertainment or politics, at any given moment in time there is usually a “big name” that defines success in a particular area of life or endeavor. In such an atmosphere, where competition maintains an ever-present role, there are, almost by definition, more losers than winners. Since parents are not able to single-handedly alter the makeup of the society which their children have been born into, assisting them in their inevitable “defeats” is an important role of parenting.

Competition, and the resultant designation of 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place often gets a “bad rap” in Christian circles. In some homeschooling circles, competition is practically defined alongside immodesty or abuse. One hears comments such as, “Why do there have to be winners and losers? Can’t we just play and not keep score?’ Or another common refrain (usually uttered when a child has not performed well in some activity), “Well, we just want him to have fun.” Or “My child is just not a good test taker; she does not do well under pressure.” Continue reading

Redeeming the Time

Andrea Schwartz

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November 10, 2014

Whether you are homeschooling one child or a number of them, it is important for the homeschooling parent/teacher to use her time and her children’s time wisely. Not only will this foster a better learning environment, but also will convey a sense of dignity to the activity, establishing it as a purposeful one.

There are some basic principles that I learned over my 28 years as a home educator that helped to make our homeschooling experience a more successful and productive one.
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Smile, God Loves You (Enough to Discipline You!)

Andrea Schwartz

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November 6, 2014

Some people are natural smilers and others don’t feel the need or desire to smile all of the time. Does this mean that smiling persons are happier than non-smilers? Does the Bible instruct us to smile as a matter of obedience and responsibility?

I fall into the category of a non-smiler. I tend to smile only when I am particularly happy or see someone I’m glad to see. But this doesn’t mean I’m unhappy most of the time. In fact, I don’t expect to be happy most of the time. If I hit 60 to 70 percent on the happiness scale in any given day, I consider it a good day. Happiness is a transient emotion, while contentment and dedication, in spite of circumstances, are manifestations of our sanctification. Continue reading

Correcting Your Children

Andrea Schwartz

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November 3, 2014

I’m often in mentoring situations with mothers who are eager to raise godly children, and who struggle with how well they are accomplishing this task. The question of discipline comes up regularly and their concerns are whether they are being too strict or too lenient with their children. Over the years I’ve struggled with this myself and, like all other parenting issues, this is best dealt with by applying the Word of God to the issue of correction.

Everyone is born into the world with a sin nature. It is important to remember that those with a sin nature commit sins. This is where the law-word of God acts as a tutor for the child. He needs to be taught and reminded of the reality that he “naturally” is at war with God and needs a Savior so that he can come to peace with Him. Early on, children need to be taught that: Sin is any want of conformity unto, or transgression of the law of God.

This sin nature can only be changed by an act of God through the redemption purchased by Jesus Christ and applied to an individual through the work of the Holy Spirit. We call this act of grace regeneration. However, those whose nature has been transformed through rebirth also commit sins. As parents, it is important to distinguish between those transgressions which are attempts to be obedient and miss the mark, and those which are deliberate actions carried out in defiance and/or rebellion. Continue reading

Don’t Forget the Kids

Andrea Schwartz

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October 31, 2014

A woman I know in Texas has taken the Scriptural command to train up her children in the way they should go by getting them involved in the issues that she and her husband find important. They recently began holding up signs from their yard encouraging residents of their town to vote “no” on a bond issue. You would not believe the uproar from their opponents. Someone tried to get them evicted from their home (the person thought they were renters rather than homeowners). They received a call from the county criminal judge asking them to cease from holding their signs. This woman and her husband are learning that their growing “quiver” is making a difference! So much so, that they are considered a menace by those who are in favor of the bond issue. It is at the core of this Kingdom-driven family that they make knowing and applying God’s law a priority in their lives.

Too many Christian families are missing valuable opportunities to influence the future of our society, by relegating certain things to the adult world and certain things to the world of children. By pursuing such a fragmented view of life, they actually help perpetuate the ungodliness of the society they endeavor to transform. Continue reading

Sleep on It

Andrea Schwartz

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October 28, 2014

I often comment that I wish I could get back all those naps I fought against as a child. When given the opportunity to sleep, I caused my mother countless hours of angst. That seems wasteful now. Contemplating the opportunity to sleep for ten hours seems like a luxury, but one that babies and children seem to treat as punishment. Psalm 127:2 indicates that sleep is a gift from God to His beloved. Yet, customarily we argue over or refuse this gift when young, and try to “cheat” it when we are older.

Think of all the ways that, as adults, we attempt to get around our need for sleep. Whether it is caffeine, stimulants, urgent projects that need finishing, or the 24/7 amusement opportunities that television and the internet provide, we convince ourselves that we can do without this “gift.” We pride ourselves on all we accomplish wearing our productivity as a badge of honor. Continue reading

Mortal Combat

Andrea Schwartz

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October 23, 2014

I am convinced that there are many faithful, dedicated Christians who want to advance the Kingdom of God but who get flustered, tongue-tied, or drawn into combative situations when they try to give a reason for the hope that is within them.

In our day, the Christian church culture is saturated with feel-good, easy-believism that does nothing more than encourage people to ask Jesus into their hearts. If those of us who subscribe to a Biblical worldview cannot present a theological and philosophical apologetic to the unbelieving world, we leave the defense of the faith to the pietists and impostors. Continue reading

Teaching Is a Dialogue Not a Monologue

Andrea Schwartz

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October 20, 2014

Everyone is a teacher in some capacity in life, whether or not you get paid for your services. Whether it is parenting, tech support, customer service, counseling, medicine, law, sales, or preaching, there is some element of instruction that takes place as we interact with each other. Two-way communication is a necessity to ensure that what we want to convey is received and understood.

Whereas very few would disagree with my premise, when it comes to practice and application, people tend to engage in monologue rather than dialogue. By placing more emphasis on what they have to say, rather than striving to make sure they are understood, two-way exchange often is sacrificed. What results can be a false sense of satisfaction that our point has been made. In order to have true instruction occur, feedback from the listener is vital. Continue reading

Past My Prime

Andrea Schwartz

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October 17, 2014

I just celebrated another birthday. Whereas I am not ashamed of the years that have been credited to my life, I still don’t like to advertise them. Suffice it to say that my age is a prime number. And yet, there are still areas of my life where “things” need to be worked out. By that I mean I see myself acting and reacting to certain situations the way I did as a child, a teen, and an unconverted individual. No, these are not tendencies that would end me up in a scandal, but they are evidences that God is not done with me yet. Continue reading

Influencing Your Almost-Grown Children

Andrea Schwartz

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October 13, 2014

A funny thing happens on the way to maturity. The very children who looked at you as though you could do no wrong and knew everything, suddenly turn into people who scrutinize and criticize your every move and decision. I used to tell my children that I refused to submit my resume and qualifications every time I made a request to them to carry out some task or project. Yet, their attitude often resembled that of a prospective employer considering whether or not to hire me rather than those who were responsible to honor me.

Our culture contributes to this phenomenon. Almost everywhere you turn, social media, entertainment, and news outlets promote a radical individualism where people are more concerned with their preferences and desires than doing what is right in the eyes of God. However, Christian parents also inadvertently contribute to this behavior by relying on the sway they had over their children when they were little to continue into the maturing years to adulthood. A better course of action is to establish early on that when they obey their parents, they are actually obeying God and, conversely, when parents are disobeyed, God is the primary recipient of their disobedience. Continue reading